The Teachers Christmas, 1994
by Crookykanks
Summary: The Teachers view of Christmas, 1994. Very OOC. PG for Snape's language. UPDATED!
1. Minerva McGonagall

Disclaimer: The characters all belong to JK Rowling. Everything else that you recognize will belong to someone else. Nothing belongs to me.  
  
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Minerva McGonagall's PoV  
  
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I awoke Christmas morning at five thirty. Almost my all time late. It takes nearly ten minutes to do my hair in the morning, so usually I'm up and going by five. As deputy headmistress, I have to inspect the castle each morning, wake up the headmaster, wake all the other heads of houses, and alert the house elves for breakfast. Otherwise, we won't get any. Many people believe all I do is sit around, teach and deliver messages to Dumbledore. If that was all I had to do in the morning alone, I would be living a life of laziness and comfort. And people ask me why I can be irritable.  
  
Anyway, the day started out in a rush. Thankfully the house elves were already up, and fixing breakfast for us. The new one, Dobby, gave me a small piece of toast before I could even ask, and cautiously asked if he could see one of the students that he had become rather attached to and had a Christmas present for. I agreed to let him go once the students were up. Even I'm not that strict on Christmas.  
  
After that, I had to wake up the heads of houses, always a chore, though Severus Snape is a task alone. Roseanne Sprout and Filius Flitwick are always rather easy, once you use fireworks or levitate them off the bed and drop them on the marble floor. Severus on the other hand slapped me so hard in response to my prodding him in the back, that I was forced to body bind him and bounce him around the dungeon before he would get up, an all time high. He wonders why I wasn't put in Slytherin.  
  
Albus Dumbledore, as active as many people believe him to be, would rather sleep in for one day a year than receive a bucket of candy every day for the rest of his life. He is by far the laziest man I have ever met, including Ludo Bagman. To awaken him on Christmas, however, is a cinch. Pull out a set of nice socks stuffed with muggle Lemon Drops and place them under his nose. In a few moments you will have one wide awake, and very happy, headmaster.  
  
The rest of the day went rather flawlessly. I refused, as always, to attend the staff carol singing in the staff room, preferring to keep my ear drums in good healthy condition. A house elf named Millie delivered a cup of hot cocoa to me around one o'clock. I thanked her and gave her a small cookie I had received from my *dear* fellow staff members. Surprisingly, it wasn't jinxed and she thanked me and went on her way.  
  
I always want to show off at time like this, the Yule Ball, I mean. As much as I love tartan, I, like you, know it isn't the best choice for fashion. I am not stupid. I had already laid out a nice set of nice light blue dress robes that were rather low cut and a plain black dress for underneath. Dumbledore however, put down his foot. It seems Roseanne had tried the same thing as well. I was forced into the red tartan and a hat with a rather ugly wreath of thistles around the brim while Roseanne was told to wear some old dark green robes that had quite a lot of lace around the edge. As much as it may seem that we have no fashion sense, allow me to say, that the dress code here is stricter for teachers than it is for students. However, I was able to sneak away with the light blue dress robes hidden underneath the horrible tartan ones.  
  
When I arrived at the entrance hall, many students had already arrived, apparently trying to squeeze in as many minutes of dancing as possible.  
  
"Champions over here, please," I called. They came to my call quickly. Miss Delacour had chosen to come with the Ravenclaw quidditch captain, Roger Davies, who was obviously interested in her as well. A bit too interested. I was a little afraid that he might walk into a wall. Next came Cedric Diggory. He and Cho Chang, a smart fifth year Ravenclaw, seemed happy with each other and were talking to each other in calm friendly tones. My own Harry Potter came up next, being dragged by a girl abut his height in bright pink robes that I immediately recognized as Parvati Patil. At least he had found a partner. Lastly was Viktor Krum and his date, a very pretty girl in periwinkle robes. At first I had no idea who she was, but when she turned around I heard her call "Hi Harry. Hi Parvati," and realized at once that it was Miss Granger. She didn't look like herself, but it was a large improvement. Her hair was pulled back in a loose form of my own usual style, and made sleek with what appeared to be a large amount of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion.  
  
The doors to the Great Hall swung open at exactly eight o'clock. A large mass of students and teachers walked in through the open doorway and began to choose their seats at the oddly placed tables. Once they were all seated, Dumbledore nodded to me, and I walked over to the champions and their partners.  
  
"Now, get in line next to your partner and follow me," I said. They did so and I led them over to their respective table through applause and jealous looks. The first thing I noticed at the judges table was the absence of Mr. Crouch. Percy Weasley was in his place. Great. One year with him was enough, and I had already had seven. Now I was supposed to survive this? Absolutely spiffing!   
  
Once the champions were seated with their partners, I walked over to my own table and took my reserved seat next to Severus. He didn't look all that happy with the seating arrangements.   
  
"I'm not that bad, am I, Severus?" I asked in mock disappointment.  
  
"It isn't you, Minerva" Severus snarled, "I've got 'Mad-Eye' on my other side," I looked past him and sure enough, there was Moody. He was talking to Sophia Sinistra, though she seemed distracted. Apparently, Moody's magical eye had rolled around and was staring at Severus through the back of Moody's head.  
  
After a minute of talking and waiting, I was beginning to wonder where the food was. Suddenly, I heard Dumbledore's voice call out, "Pork chops". I turned to look at him just in time to see the requested pork chops appear on his plate. I looked down at my own golden dish and saw a small menu laying beside it. As you might imagine, I felt rather stupid. Quickly, I picked up the menu and scanned it. There were many puddings and stews, including goulash, and of course, pork chops. I chose a simple stew that turned out to be French, and surprisingly tasty.  
  
"Why does everything on this damn menu have to be foreign?" Severus asked impatiently.  
  
"To please the guests, of course!" I said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Well why don't we give them samples of our own dishes?" he responded icily.  
  
"Because, er, because Madame Maxime might throw a fit." I said quietly so only Severus could hear. He gave a small snort of harsh laughter. A few minutes passed in silence. But only a few minutes are allowed to pass that way when you are part of the most garrulous staff this side of the Earth.  
  
"Who are you planning on dancing with?" Severus asked suddenly.  
  
"Only men plan that sort of thing," I said tartly, "Why do you ask? Am I on your list?"  
  
"Er, no! Of course not," he said a touch too quickly. I gave him a skeptical look and he continued, "Well, if you want to be-"  
  
"Sure, Severus," I interrupted, "That would be fine."  
  
Once the food had vanished, Dumbledore stood up and motioned for us to do the same. When we did, the tables whisked away to the walls and a set of band instruments appeared on a small stage that I hadn't even noticed beforehand at the front of the hall. Then came the "Weird Sisters". The students burst into wild applause while I tried to keep myself from screaming at their hideous torn robes and obvious hair management problems. They trudged up to their instruments as the champions and their partners stood and walked to the center of the hall. The band struck up an unreasonably slow waltz-like tune.  
  
Now, most people know that, in a waltz, it is both proper and polite for the male gender to steer. Unfortunately, Hogwarts doesn't offer a class on ballroom dancing. I could see both Miss Patil and Miss Delacour steering. Potter obviously wasn't much good at dancing, and had even more obviously never taken a class in his life. Davies on the other hand, seemed to be more interested in his partner than in where his feet were going. Soon more people walked out onto the floor. Severus bowed nervously to me, and I let him take me onto the dance floor. We danced in tune to the music, swaying slowly back and forth, chatting idly. When the song ended, I applauded politely, but Severus leaned over my shoulder and gave me a surprise, friendly kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Get out from under the mistletoe," he hissed in my ear. I took his advice immediately. He seemed ready to ask me for another dance when Karkaroff came by looking slightly worried.  
  
"Excuse me," he said in a slightly squeakier voice than usual, "May I borrow Severus?" Before I could answer, he led Severus off into the distance and through the doors out into the grounds. Ludo Bagman chose that moment to come over to me.  
  
"Should be free flying from here, eh, Minerva?" he said in his usual cheerful voice.  
  
"I certainly hope so," I said, watching the students dance, "Look at them, Ludo. Not a care in the world, except for who they're dancing with. I wish I could still be a student here. It was so much easier."  
  
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Minerva!" he exclaimed suddenly, "Would you care for a quick dance?" I had a moments hesitation, but decided to go for it.  
  
"Why not," I said.  
  
Bagman turned out to be just as energetic as he looked. As the Weird Sisters struck up a faster tune, Bagman extended his hand only to settle it on my waist. I was startled to see that I was actually not that much taller than him. The dance itself went smoothly, Bagman nimbly avoiding my feet, but after the song ended, he leaned down, planted a quick kiss on my hand and hurried off. Almost immediately afterwards, however, he ran into the Weasley twins. They stopped him and began talking to him quietly. Bagman managed to shake them fairly quickly, but I went over to tell them off for bothering him nonetheless.  
  
"Weasley," I said sternly.  
  
"Hi, Professor," said, er, the one on the left as they turned to face me, "We were just telling Mr. Bagman about our Canary Creams," I knew about the trick treats as I myself had almost bitten into one when Albus asked for a piece and burst into feathers after eating it. Suddenly, the music started up. The one on the right used this to his advantage.  
  
"Would you care for a dance, Professor?" he asked innocently, "I won't prank you, I promise." He took my stunned look for a 'yes' and called, "I'll catch up with you later, Fred," before swinging me onto the floor. This had to be George.  
  
I thought I must have been shrinking. George Weasley couldn't have been only about four inches shorter than me. He smiled sincerely up at me, giving me an uneasy feeling.  
  
"You look, er, nice, Professor" he said.  
  
"No I don't, and I know it. This is not my first choice of formal wear," I whispered to him.  
  
"What is?" he asked  
  
"No spreading rumors," I begged him. He nodded and I led him over to the far corner of the hall. Then, quietly I took off the offending tartan robes and ugly hat, revealing my light blue robes. He dropped his jaw and his ears went a touch pink.  
  
"Woah," he said softly. Despite myself, I blushed. I began to put the garments back on, but he held out his hand and stopped me. I gave him a questioning look which he answered with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.  
  
"Don't," he said, "and take off your glasses," I began say, excuse me, lie, that I needed them to see, but he interrupted me, "Don't even try. I know that you don't need them."  
  
"Do you spy on me in your free time?" I asked only half joking.  
  
"No," he said calmly, "but Fred does. C'mon. No one will recognize you. You could pass for a seventh year." I considered the possibility. I dearly wanted to be with the students. Dancing with them, even, and for my teacher side, this would be a wonderful opportunity to really get to know what goes on when the teachers aren't around. Either way, it was a good idea. Slowly, I put down the disturbing tartan robes and hat and banished them back to my private quarters.  
  
"That better?" I asked, heightening the pitch of my voice a little.  
  
"Much," George said, his grin splashed across his face, "Let's see how many people you can fool."  
  
"Hold up just a second," I called. I wanted to enjoy the experience fully. I pulled out my wand and touched the knot on the back of my head three times. Instantly, my hair tumbled down my back. I sighed heavily. Now, this was the life.  
  
"Nice," George said, "It's longer than I expected." I turned a light pink. "C'mon," he repeated sliding his hand around my waist, just like Bagman had. He led me out to the dance floor to catch the very end of the song. I carefully slid my glasses into the pocket of my robes. During the applause for the Weird Sisters, Lee Jordan came over to talk to George, and spotted me.  
  
"I-I, er, don't b-believe that...er...we've met," he stammered. George and I struggled to overcome our identical strong desires to laugh.  
  
"You're Lee Jordan, the quidditch commentator, aren't you?" I said in my falsetto voice.  
  
"Yeah," George laughed, "Professor McGonagall's always telling himoff for biased commentary. Even in the classroom." I smiled.  
  
"What's your name?" Lee asked. Gorge suddenly looked worried. We hadn't gone over what to do if that came up.  
  
"Mineta," I said, using the quickest name that came to mind. That was the name everyone called me if I said my real name too quickly when I first met them. "Mineta Lanam," The last name, I now realize is a couple of the letters from my real last name, backwards. At that point, it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.  
  
"Would you, er, like to dance?" Lee asked. George grinned even more broadly.  
  
"Sure," I said smoothly. We took the next dance. At least Lee Jordan was polite enough to steer. The dance after that, I played the same trick on a Hufflepuff sixth year. He wasn't very interesting, however, and I decided that I could revolve on the spot and pick up tidbits of conversation from other dancers at the same time. Katie Bell was just dumped for a real Ravenclaw seventh year, and Miss Fawcett was currently mad for Mr. Stebbins. After that, I tried my charm on Fred Weasley, who was completely oblivious to who I really was. Next I tried a stupid looking Slytherin seventh year, who was easily fooled, but then came Dumbledore.   
  
I knew ahead of time that I wouldn't be able to fool him, but I was surprised at how happy he actually looked.  
  
"Getting to know your students, eh, Minerva?" he asked with a hint of humor in his voice. "Always wanted to know how you planned on doing that."  
  
"They mostly think the same way I used to when I was their ages," I said smiling, "I think I know how I'm going to run my next class," I was going to hold a lesson on why not believe everything you hear or even see.  
  
Unfortunately, that was the last dance. Since my 'costume' had already been banished up to my private quarters, I joined the students on the way out of the Great Hall. I had only gotten halfway out the door, however, when I heard someone call.  
  
"Mineta" I turned around. Lee Jordan was coming toward me. He looked a tad pink in the cheeks. "Would you, er, like to...you know, go out?" He asked sheepishly. I couldn't help myself. I laughed, hard. Jordan's face fell.  
  
"Oh, Jordan," I gasped, returning my voice to normal, "I'm so sorry. It was all a joke." Jordan's jaw dropped as far as the muscles would allow.  
  
"Professor McGonagall!" he exclaimed turning a bright shade of red. I reached over and patted him on the back.  
  
"It's all right," I said soothingly, "I fooled everyone except for Professor Dumbledore."  
  
"Yeah," he said, obviously very embarrassed, "but, oh, Lord!"  
  
"Just go to bed and forget about it," I told him. He started to interrupt, but I continued, "Then ask Katie Bell in the morning. She's just been 'released'." Lee Jordan game a small, sheepish smile, then leaned down and kissed my hand. Despite myself, I could feel my cheeks go pink. Then he raced off to his dormitory. I shook my head and sighed. What a night!  
  
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A/N Hey! Did you enjoy? Am I evil to poor Lee? I'm sorry that everyone's so OOC, but I needed a small break from keeping everyone in character. The Later Years was beginning to wear on my nerves. Just thought I'd have some fun with the strange image of young McGonagall rocking out to my "Chicago" and "Grease" CD's. And boy was it fun! Review with your nice comments and flames please! Review with nice comments, and I'll post another chapter of madness from a different character's PoV (you can tell me the character) Review with flames and I'll post another chapter of madness from a different character's PoV (you can tell me the character). I'll take anything!  
  
^-^ (meow!) 


	2. Severus Snape

A/N: Chappie 2 Yea!

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Severus Snape's PoV

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Cold. Tired. Bounced out of bed onto dungeon floor. That was pretty much how the day began, mainly thanks to Minerva who wakes me up in the morning. Usually, Minerva McGonagall is a fair, cool-tempered woman. This morning, however, she saw fit to wake me by bouncing me around my dungeon, hitting first the stone ceiling, then the hard floor. She didn't stop until I screamed, "God, woman, I'm awake!" to which she replied, lowering her wand so I fell with a crash back onto the floor, "Cut out 'God', Severus, and stay where you're better acquainted."

She left rubbing a red mark on her cheek. I was about to ask what she had done to herself the night before, when the door slammed after her. Five minutes later, I rose lazily off the floor and began my morning routine. That consists of stubbing my toes, hitting my head on the stone headboard, thinking Slytherin-type thoughts, and overall getting myself in a bad mood. Things like that can take precision and careful planning when they are done on a daily basis. 

The day went by slowly. Christmas carols were sung in the staff room. I could hear the cats shrieking in the hallways from the awful din. I made the mistake of attending that particular Yule tide activity in my first year of teaching. I now prefer not to damage the charms on my ear drums that allow me to hear now that my birth hearing has been permanently damaged from a particularly high note from Filius Flitwick.

They say that Albus Dumbledore is more stubborn that the rest of his staff combined. They say that if he doesn't want to listen to you, he simply won't. This is not true. It is just that the Headmaster attends the staff carol session every year, and his hearing just sort of breaks occasionally from the damage done by the non-existent singing talents of his beloved staff. Never say Albus Dumbledore is stubborn. He's just a softie, who can't always hear who he's "arguing" with.

The afternoon was satisfactory. I was able to take ten points from Ravenclaw, fifteen from Hufflpuff, and eighteen from Gryffindor.  Christmas is an especially wonderful time to catch students in the hallways kissing under the mistletoe, which is, of course, against school policy. They never even notice I'm coming until it is too late.  It also gives me a good idea on the level of rampaging hormones, which I was certain would prove extremely useful in the hours to pass during and after the Yule Ball that evening.  They seemed to be extraordinarily high, even for Christmas, especially in the fourth and fifth years.

From six o'clock to seven forty-five was spent, as always, in my dungeon quarters. I was extremely unhappy to be disturbed by Albus Dumbledore himself at seven forty-six. Not only did he insist that I attend the accursed celebration, he also requested that I actually **_danced_** with at least one person. **Me! Dancing!** I hope that you are able to compute how physically and morally _wrong_ that is! As soon as he left, I began preparing myself and trying not to panic. I was about to put on just another set of work robes, when I realized that no woman in her right mind would dance with a man who didn't even look like he wanted to be with her.  For some odd reason, women just don't usually function that way. So, instead, to please the unfortunate creature I was doomed to dance with, and headmaster Dumbledore, I wore a slightly nicer set with a hint of silver trim (still black of course). I also decided to brush my hair, incase either the woman or I had sipped too much Christmas wine by the time we actually stepped onto the floor.  I shuddered inwardly and prayed that that would **not** be the case.

It never takes me long to get ready for occasions like this. It would only take me five minutes to get ready in the mornings if only they were not so early, and I was not so tired. However, since this particular event took place at eight o'clock in the evening, I had no problem readying myself quickly and arriving in the Great Hall a full five minutes early. Whispers filled the hallways around the hall, and I was suddenly glad I had used the entrance behind the where the staff table was usually positioned.  Very few, if any, students knew where this passage came from, though very few did not realize it existed.  I was about to take to sit at a nearby table when I realized that the chair was reserved, in fact, the entire table had already been taken. I figured that we must have seating arrangements. Not the students of course, just the faculty as always.  Dumbledore doesn't care where the students sit. He knows they all eventually separate into their respective houses, or most of them do anyway. Not the teachers. He has to know exactly where each one of us will be sitting so he can plan out his entire night's conversation with the employee closest to him two hours before hand. Dumbledore is not one for impromptu conversations. He always knows when he's going to receive a visitor, who it's going to be, and what they want to talk about. I will never understand how.

I finally found my seat at the last table I searched at. I only had one minute until the dreaded chimes by then, and I was positioned between a clomping, misshapen, paranoid freak who would probably never take his eye off of me, even when he was turned away, and my rival head of house. Joy. I quickly decided that I would dance the first dance, so as not to sit near them for the only time they would be off their feet (or in one case, wooden stump). I barely had anytime to concentrate on whom to dance with before the chimes struck eight and the teenage balls of hormonal energy flooded into the room.  Mad-Eye took his place next to me, and immediately began talking to Sophia Sinistra (the conversation was slightly one-sided) I could feel his eye on me. She was very obviously distracted by that. She nodded uncertainly when he asked her (cautiously of course) for the first dance. Scratch her off my list of options. I began scouting the room before it was too late. There was, quite simply, not a chance that I would be dancing with anyone over the age of 70, which ruled out just about everyone. Minerva McGonagall was not quite 70 yet, and bubbly, loquacious Rosanne Sprout was turning that very age upcoming spring. I despise people who are loquacious, but bubbly? Don't even get me started. I resolved to ask Minerva, which was odd as I loathed the idea of sitting next to her for a single meal. Better her than anyone else I suppose, though. At least she could hold a decent conversation. 

The champions arrived with their partners behind their transfigurations professor none too soon. Minerva, too, seemed quite ready to get the whole shindig over with and relax in her own rooms. She feigned enjoyment however when she reached the table. The woman has some amazing acting abilities. She can trick even the headmaster into thinking she's enjoying his rambling about muggle candies. I need to figure out where she learned that particular scam. She collapsed none too elegantly in her chair and immediately noticed the disgruntled look on my face. She smirked at me and feigned offense.

"I'm not that bad, am I, Severus?" It was all I could do to hide the smirk that was fighting to overtake my lips.

"It isn't you, Minerva," I had to result to using my professor voice so as to maintain normal conversation. I swear she was a drama queen as a teenager. I hate drama queens. They're the only people in the entire world, no universe, who manage to make me laugh. I had to think up a reason for my forced irritability, "I've got 'Mad-Eye' on my other side"

"I see." She paused for a minute, as though expecting me to respond. When I didn't she whispered, "He's watching you, isn't he?" 

"Undoubtedly so." This time, the annoyance was not unnatural. It was true. I could still feel his damn eye on my back. I tried to ignore it by watching my plate. I could feel the hall growing restless, and there was no food on the dishes. I was about to turn to Minerva and ask I she knew what was going on, when I spotted a small menu next to my plate. Intrigued, I flipped through it carefully, and nearly jumped a foot high when Dumbledore shouted out "Pork Chops!" As if I had really wanted to know what he was going to eat. Then I realized that not everyone had seen the menu. Minerva was trying to control the flush of embarrassment rising in her cheeks as she picked up her own menu; Moody looked as though his was going to hex him. I started looking harder through mine, and realized I had never even heard of most of the names given to the items of, I guess you could call it food, but I'm not one hundred percent sure. After a minute of disgruntled searching for anything regular, I growled in frustration (literally.)

"Why does everything on this damn menu have to be foreign?" Minerva looked at me in shock.

"To please the guests, of course!" she said it as though it were obvious.

"Well, why don't we give them samples of our own dishes?" I said in the same tone she had used on me.

"Because, er," for a second, I thought that she did not have an explanation to that, when she leaned in close, her breath tickling my neck, "because Madame Maxime might throw a fit." She turned back toward the students, and I sighed with relief. I had been almost positive that she had been about to k… never mind.  

A few minutes were allowed to pass in glorious silence. I still had to ask Minerva if she would dance as well. Now was as good a time as any, but how to word it. To just ask her would seem insensitive and rash. She'd probably guess what I was being forced to do. I'm sure she would have _loved_ that. On the other hand, anything too romantic would have her escorting me to the hospital wing. I would have to be smooth, delicate, and seemingly apathetic. This would be difficult…

"Who are you planning on dancing with?" There, that sounded casual enough. However, Minerva looked at me as if it was the stupidest question I had ever asked her.

"Only men plan that sort of thing." She replied sourly. "Why do you ask? Am I on your list?" I hadn't been expecting her to ask that. I was just relieved she didn't realize how close she had come to a bull's eye.

"Er, no! Of course not!" she gave me a skeptical look that told me I'd tried to recover myself just a tad too quickly. "Well, if you want to be—" I stammered, still trying to recover my dignity, which was slowly wearing away. Thankfully, she didn't let me embarrass myself any further.

"Sure, Severus, That would be fine." I sighed in relief again. Women.

As soon as the food had vanished, we stood and watched the Weird Sisters walk up to the make-shift stage. I could see Minerva biting her tongue as her teacher-ness took over; I tapped her on the shoulder before she could yell at them. The students were horrible dancers. I was hardly surprised at Potter tripping over his own feet and Davies nearly bringing himself and his partner crashing to the floor numerous times. It took me a minute to realize other couples were beginning to waltz onto the floor (none too gracefully) and that it would be courteous for me to pay a little attention to my own partner. Not entirely sure what to do, I cautiously gave a small bow to Minerva and led her to the floor. She seemed much more relaxed than I was, and I struggled to maintain my usual demeanor. Dancing alone was not my thing. With a woman, it was a total catastrophe. Minerva seemed to have missed that memo however, and let me steer her around slowly.

"You don't dance often, do you?" She asked after a moment.

"Now what makes you think that?" I sneered, my voice drowned in sarcasm. I had expected her to mention the fact that my hands were sweating, or I was turning her in a tiny circle, or even that we had narrowly missed three couples, and the band had not even began the refrain (don't ask how I knew that).

"Your hands are on my shoulders, and it's not all that comfortable." She smirked at the surprised look in my eyes as I very carefully moved my hands down to her waist. "I won't slap you for something I asked you to do." She also replaced her hands, which had been on my hips for her own comfort, and rested them on my shoulders. I knew I was blushing. I just knew it. That was the closest I had been to a woman in, wait! You do **not** need to know that!

When the music ended, I found myself almost wishing for another. I said _almost_! I was certain Minerva was smiling at me as I pulled away. To avert her gaze, I looked upwards and noticed the most dangerous thing available on Christmas Day. That single innocent little plant that always seems to pop out when you _least_ want it: Mistletoe. And Minerva was standing right underneath a bough. I knew I would regret this for years to come, but she would hate me for the rest of my life if I didn't save her, and she was stuck with only the students to free her (not that it wouldn't have been a humorous sight). Quickly I leaned over her and gave her a tiny peck on the cheek that made her turn her respective house color.

"Get out from under the mistletoe." I hissed urgently in her ear. She took the advice to heart and leapt out from underneath the dreaded plant as quickly as her robes would allow. I was about to ask Minerva for another (dance of course!) when Karkaroff snuck up behind us. 

"Excuse me," he squeaked, "May I borrow Severus for a moment?" I hoped Minerva would object, but even if she had been about to, Karkaroff never gave her a chance before dragging me out the hall doors and into the maze of rosebushes that currently covered the grounds. Karkaroff apparently did not notice my foul mood, and if he did, he did not care on bit.

"You feel it too. I know you do! You must!" He whispered urgently. I chose to ignore him entirely and contented myself with blasting apart the rosebushes, imagining each one as his head (yes I do have an imagination). I refused to meet his eyes. "Don't ignore me, Severus!" Damn. "I know he is returning! What shall we do?"

"We?" I turned to him for the first time, "I know exactly what _I_ will do, Igor. This is not my problem. I will return to him, as he expects me to, when I am able to locate his position." I can't trust anyone, especially not Karkaroff, who has betrayed enough Death Eaters to prove himself more dangerous as a traitor than a torturer. 

"Quit denying who you work for. I know all about you and all your secrets."

"I am denying nothing." No matter how calm I was able to keep my voice, I was morally disturbed by the thought of Karkaroff knowing all of my secrets. "And I don't see what there is to fuss about, Igor."

"Severus you cannot pretend this isn't happening!" Karkaroff definitely sounded desperate now. At least he was trying his hardest to hush his voice. The man is not entirely stupid (though it is a close call); he does have enough sense to know that this particular subject would not reflect well on us if we were overheard. I concentrated even harder on my blasting. Why couldn't the man just leave me alone? "It's been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can't deny it—"

"Then flee," I hissed, completely fed-up with his whining voice, "Flee—I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts." With a well-aimed blast here, I was able to produce a kissing couple from the bushes that was barely recognizable, but somehow I managed it. "Ten points from Ravenclaw, Fawcett! And ten points from Hufflepuff too, Stebbins!" I then noticed Potter and Weasley. Their presence meant trouble; their expressions told of eavesdropping. Wouldn't Minerva be pleased about what I had caught two of her prided pupils doing! "And what are you two doing?"

"We're walking." Typical Weasley bluntness. "Not against the law, is it?" I wanted to give him detention then and there, but restrained myself because Dumbledore would lecture me on the 'special circumstances applied at Christmas' later if I did.

"Keep walking then!" It was the best attempt I could come up with to limit their knowledge and their chances of learning more. Grudgingly, I watched them stalk off, before returning to rosebush blasting.

"Severus, please! You must help me!" Karkaroff continued as if the interruption had never happened.

"I have offered my assistance to you already! Take it or leave it!" I snarled. Instead of allowing him to reply however, I swept off down another path made for only one person. In the distance I could make out the deep voices of Hagrid and Madame Maxime. I quickly turned in the other direction. The next ten minutes were spent blasting more rosebushes and debating weather or not to return to the Great Hall and Minerva, who had certainly stopped dancing by now. I really don't mind the woman as much as I lead others to believe; she is a good conversationalist, if a bit childish sometimes. Surprisingly, most of the students in the bushes were Hufflepuffs. Almost all of the Gryffindors and my own Slytherins were still evidently inside. I was able to subtract a full forty points from the students in that one house, a new record for only ten minutes.

I finally did decide to return indoors, but the dance was over. Time had actually gone surprisingly quickly for the dread I had placed upon this event. Looking around the empty room, I saw the bow of mistletoe Minerva had accidentally been caught underneath. Making certain that no one was watching, I took the bough and placed it inside my robes, making a mental note to arrive early at the staff meeting the next morning in order to place it accordingly. I was certain to make Dumbledore sorry for making me dance. I slept peacefully that night.

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A/N Wow! I actually updated! Applause please!!! I'm so sorry for the huge wait, but I have had a very busy schedule, which included the lead in a play, a visit to the nation's capitol, Mardi Gras celebrations, four birthdays, Roman day preparations, and Block party plans. Don't blame me! Anyway, I should be back on track now, and I think it is the greatest feeling in the world!!! Please leave me a review if you have not died waiting for my next update!!! Thanks!

^-^ (meow!)


	3. Filius Flitwick

A/N: OMG! I'm updating! The world is coming to an end! Well, my comp's been down, so I went back and looked at all my stuff to make sure it was all working okay, and ended up re-reading this! I wanted to keep going as promised, so here we go again!

Filius Flitwick's PoV

"No!" I screamed at Aurora Hooch, "Put it down, I worked too hard on that!"

She was holding a large china vase that I had spent weeks on end decorating. It's a prized possession of mine as painting was the muggle hobby I took up when Albus suggested I try to do something without magic as I was becoming far to attached to my charm work. The vase was a painstaking product of this hobby, and my best piece by far, and I'm overly protective of it. I need a pet or something that can listen to me when I talk to it because Minerva thought I was over-reacting to a tiny crack in the side (she had been the one to find me in the staffroom crying).

Aurora smiled wickedly as she raised the vase precariously over her head and, as I squeaked out in horror, smashed it with a huge BANG!

Wait, shouldn't it crash? Why did it 'bang'?

BANG!

Now, I was very confused. Trembling I opened my eyes, and saw about twenty tiny fireworks going off in front of my face! I squeaked loudly and toppled out of my bed onto the marble floor of my bedroom. This is a very rude awakening on Christmas morning. Well, it's a rude awakening on any morning, but I thought McGonagall might soften up a bit on the holiday! Just a bit! A teensy, weensy, microscopic bit! A _my-sized_ bit!

Now fully awake, I looked up in time to see her walk out, closing the door behind her. I glared at the doorway, having missed my chance to tell her off. I quickly looked around for my precious vase and saw is safely resting on the dresser as usual. Cheerfully, I remembered it was Christmas which meant presents, no classes (a present in itself because it means I'll have nothing to grade), the Yule Ball, and staffroom carols!!!

I believe myself to be a very good singer, even if my voice is high-pitched. I was extremely popular among the younger staff in the 1960's and 70's. For some reason my abilities are not as appreciated as they used to be, but this has never bothered me.

I tried my hardest to resist skipping down to the Great Hall, and failed miserably. However, no one, staff or student, seemed to notice. Breakfast was exquisite, to impress the guests I suppose. I was going to take full advantage of the benefits of having guests: better (and more) food, and more fun! This year we had decided to decorate the Great Hall on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day so we wouldn't have to worry about waking up before everyone else.  I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off of them, and admiring my own work. Finally, Sophia Sinistra allowed me to brag about them to her. She said I had outdone myself and went back to sipping her coffee. By this time I had entered my usual "nothing can go wrong" mood, and was beaming at everyone in the room. Karkaroff, who was not used to my cheerfulness, looked very unnerved, but that didn't bother me. I was used to that kind of look from Severus and idly wondered if Karkaroff was a Scorpio as well.  Most Scorpios tend to suspect something sinister in people who are too cheerful, like myself, a contented Pisces. The Daily Prophet was dropped on my lap instead of in my plate for once and I gave the delivery owl some bacon in return. Immediately, I flipped to my horoscope. _Confrontations with an earth sign, but an overall good day. Merry Christmas and don't get too drunk at the local pub!_

Cautiously, I dug through my knowledge to prepare myself for the confrontation. Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn were the Earth signs. I sighed in relief, remembering Minerva's birthday falling in late August and realized it had already happened! However, the only 'local pub' I would be visiting today was the staffroom which has plenty of drinks for this particular occasion, I've never understood why.

After Breakfast ended, I raced to my rooms to gather the odds and ends that would turn into my presents for the rest of the staff this year. Let's see, a snitch for Aurora; a super effective parchment restorer for Sophia; a rare plant for Rosanne Sprout, mimblis mumbilia or something like that; the usual candy and assorted chocolates for Albus; Unbreakable potion bottles for Severus, so on and so forth. A flick of my wand wrapped and addressed them. They were balanced very precariously all the way to the staff room, but at least I didn't have to carry them. They followed me, stacked on top of one another from largest, Minerva's china set, to smallest, Rosanne's plant.

I opened the staffroom door to see most of my colleagues already there. Albus had been able to convince Alastor to come (I don't have a clue how) and the Aquarius Headmaster himself was watching the pile of strewn wrapping paper littering the floor grow ever higher.

"Ah! Filius, good! That should be everyone, as Irma decided not to join us this year and Minerva and Severus never attend." Albus said smiling and closing the door behind my floating tower of packages.

"Filius! Yes!" Rosanne shrieked as she raced to me, hugging me enthusiastically, "And your presents! I have one for you too!"

Presents: always good news, especially from a generous Gemini. Everyone seemed extremely pleased with my choices. I left Minerva and Severus's presents underneath the tree. Presumably they'd find them eventually. Minerva usually finds presents for us as well, but she prefers to spend Christmas listening to music curled in front of the fireplace with a romance novel. I don't know why I even get Severus a present.

Ten minutes later the singing had begun. We started with 'Jingle Bells', an all time favorite, then went on to 'Here Comes Santa Claus' and 'Merry Christmas Darling" followed by at least ten more, breaking only for sips of cocoa from Albus and Hagrid. This years' cocoa didn't even have an aftertaste! A definite improvement from last year when…. Oh, never mind, we all stopped choking and vomiting eventually. Suddenly, during a particularly high note in our special version of 'Holly Jolly Christmas' that no one in the room quite hit, we were startled by a tinkling sound that only breaking glass can make. We quickly repaired the window only to notice the mirror had suffered the same fate. I checked Minerva's present, but was relieved to see its packaging had protected it from the sound waves that had broken the glass elsewhere. We decided to end it there and prepare ourselves for lunch and the following Yule Ball.

The break between Lunch and the Ball gave me plenty of time not only to change, but also to string mistletoe throughout the castle where I thought it would be most useful. I was sure that the many remaining students would enjoy it. Just for fun, I put the last three in the Great Hall. I was sure that I could catch at least one couple in the middle of the Ball.

Then I retired to my own rooms to find places for my newly acquired tinkering tools. I love little gadgets, especially the kind that look interesting and do practically nothing. They present a puzzle to your imagination and keep you imagination active. They can also be pleasing to the eye. Albus had also gotten me a painting set, which I carefully stored on a low shelf so it would be easily accessible in the near future. All this took nearly an hour, combined with the time it had taken for someone of my stature to hang mistletoe throughout the castle, I had about half an hour before the Ball.

I changed into my distinctly patterned robes of lilac with different charms symbols imprinted lightly on the fabric and bronze clasp. I was one of the few members of the staff who could get away with wearing what I wanted to wear to an occasion like this. The rest of the staff says it's because I can find so few things to fit me that Albus doesn't object, but actually he approves of my professional taste. It's very similar to his own.

I made my way downstairs being careful to avoid the excited students, who were all taller than I am, and ran the perpetual risk of knocking me down. At eight o'clock exactly, the large doors of the Great Hall swung open and I followed the horde of students inside. Albus had told us of the seating arrangements before we began singing, so I knew where I was expected to sit, between Sophia and Rosanne. I was not complaining. I am exceptionally fond of them because of their outgoing positive natures so similar to my own.

As soon as everyone was seated I struck up conversation with Rosanne. She began by thanking me for the plant, which she had been wanting for months, and I happened to come across in a privately owned apothecary. We chatted idly, through our mouths and our stomachs, which were groaning to each other in hunger. Eventually we resorted to Christmas jokes. I started:

"What was Santa's favorite song in the stone age?"

"I don't know"

"Jingle Bell _Rock_" Rosanne laughed a bit, then proceeded with her own:

"What did Santa say when the reindeer asked for a break?"

"Pork Chops!" We both jumped as this was obviously not the right answer. When we saw Albus sit down. His plate full of Pork Chops, we both glanced at our plates and noticed small menus. We quickly picked them up and scanned them we agreed on getting the goulash. It was wonderful.

For the first time that evening Sophia turned to me and spoke.

"Mad-Eye is beginning to creep me out. He's been looking at Severus but talking to me this whole time. It's really disgusting." I cringed at the thought of the discomfort talking to Moody caused me when both of his eyes we boring into me. Only one eye for five minutes: that would be an absolute nightmare. Moody chose that exact moment to begin talking to Sophia again and the rest of the meal went by quietly until Rosanne finished. We began telling our jokes again.

I stood and applauded as the Weird Sisters trudged up to the stage prepared for them in the center of the hall. They seemed to be a highly emotional group from their radical clothes and hair. Very much like determined rebels, fighting for what they want. So wonderful to see young inspired people.

The champions were varied in their dancing skills. I settled to watch the dancers, being too small to dance decently with a partner myself. I have problems steering. Mr. Potter, a Leo in every way if I ever saw one, couldn't keep his feet in place and was very nearly treading on his partner, though she seemed to have been doing this for years. Young girls are more adept at this sort of thing. My own Roger Davies was not only tripping over his partners feet, but also his own. I felt a flush of embarrassment for my house, but quelled it before anyone noticed. At least Cho Chang and her partner were in complete control of their dance, as were Mr. Krum and his partner, whom I could not identify. Those two couples seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. When more people came onto the floor, I took to watching them.

Hufflepuff and Gryffindor boys are, as a rule, less adept at dancing than the rest of the houses, but Gryffindor and Ravenclaw girls are the best. This rule proves true every time I watch the students dance. Now was, of course far from an exception. Ginny Weasley, invited by Mr. Longbottom, was attempting to retain her dignity and get a decent dance, while her partner tripped on everything, even the air, it seemed. Padma Patil, who had come with the youngest Weasley brother, was trying in vain to make her partner stand up, let alone dance. Mr. Malfoy seemed an exquisite dancer, however Miss Parkinson was having trouble moving around in her robes, that or she was stepping on her partners feet. Mr. Malfoy was turned the other way, sneering at no one in particular.

I smiled as some fellow staff members began taking to the floor. Sophia looked more jumpy than even Moody as she avoided his wooden leg while dancing uncertainly, though the vigilance race between them was very close. Rosanne had found a dance with Karkaroff, though he didn't seem interested in her and stepped on her feet numerous times without even noticing. The Headmaster was engrossed with Madam Maxime. The size difference was close to Rosanne versus myself. Minerva was readjusting Severus's hands. He looked like she was going to slap him for touching her hips. I knew in an instant he was being forced to dance, as he was always too nervous to dance. He has a problem with being to close to women for some reason, though he'd never admit it. Typical Scorpio.

The staff tables were loaded with snacks and an interesting punch. I couldn't place a flavor on it, but I liked it none the less and downed four glasses in a few minutes. A mixture of tangerine and strawberry with a hint of pumpkin I believe, but I still can't be sure.

Half an hour later and I had lost my favorite people to watch, though I had now seen six couples caught under the mistletoe boughs I had hung earlier, including Minerva, who had turned a deep pink when Severus pecked in her a very repressed, and un-romantic way. I had wished for a camera. Krum and his partner found themselves underneath one, as did Mr. Malfoy and Miss Parkinson. The affection from the latter pair was slightly one sided. Mr. Malfoy didn't seem to enjoy being slobbered on by an overgrown pug. I know that was a rude thought, and I shouldn't think those things, but it's a running joke among the staff.

A few more drinks and another dance and my head was beginning to spin. The fireworks this morning (Merry Christmas to you too, Minerva!) had woken me at the time, but I was tiring quickly. There was still one last dance, but I didn't feel I would be needed. Just then, however, a very bored Rosanne came up to me.

"You haven't been dancing, Filius." She said.

"I'm not all that good at partner dancing." I replied truthfully.

"Dumbledore managed Madam Maxime, and it doesn't really matter anyway." She seemed determined not to let the last dance go to waste. I finally agreed, as long as she steered.

Rosanne dances about as well as she sings. It varies on which note she is attempting to hit. She can swing dance you into oblivion, but her waltzes are a tad jumpy. The late hour was wearing on my mind, but I chatted and joked with her, to keep myself cheerful and awake. Rosanne never grates on my nerves. She's mutable sign, like me and we can talk forever without getting too bored. Besides she always has some juicy gossip.

When the band stopped playing, I bowed to her, so as not to be rude, then left in a hurry and fell asleep in my bed without even bothering to change, the music still pounding in my head.

A/N: IT IS HARD TO WRITE **CHEERFUL** PEOPLE!!!!! I am a Virgo. Cheerful and cool on the outside, but you do not want to know what goes on in my head.   That's why critical, sarcastic McGonagall and Snape are fun and easy for me to write. This chapter is the most challenging thing I've ever written, including school assignments. Hope you _really_ like it. I wrote 2,598 words with only one snide comment. I believe this to be a record.

I would like the next chapter to be Moody, but I'm not sure if I want to do real Moody or fake Moody, so I'm leaving it up to you! The Reviewers! If no one reviews, I'll just do whichever is easier or maybe one of each and decide which one I like better!

I'd really like some feedback on this one because it took me three days! I promise to update more frequently

Also, if anyone has a better title, make suggestions. If anyone has ANOTHER title, make suggestions, I've always hated this one.

(meow!)


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